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3 posters

    Sying "Sy" Yuo

    CondorKing
    CondorKing


    Posts : 17
    Points : 25
    Join date : 2018-10-28

    Sying "Sy" Yuo Empty Sying "Sy" Yuo

    Post by CondorKing Wed Nov 07, 2018 9:21 pm

    Account Name: CondorKing

    Basic Info

    Name: Sying Yuo
    Nickname: "Sy"
    Age: 18
    Gender: Male
    Race: Human
    Affiliation: Marine
    Rank (Commendations): Seaman (0)
    Achievements: N/A
    Profession: Entertainer
    Secondary Profession: Carpenter
    Position: N/A
    Crew: N/A


    Appearance

    Height: 5'4"
    Weight: 115 lbs.
    Hair: Black
    Eyes: Brown
    Clothing/Accessories: Sying Yuo is a man of order, and thus will usually wear whatever marine uniform he's been assigned to. When given freedom, he prefers to wear thinner, black clothes often worn by puppet masters of tradition. As he was born on a colder island, he doesn't care as much about the chill that comes about from his choice appearance. Sying almost always wears his two String Gauntlets, which resemble fingerless gloves featuring contraptions upon each digit.
    General Appearance: Sying is a very boyish looking man, and is often mistaken for being someone much younger than himself. He's taken to styling his hair upwards so as to appear taller than he really is. Despite his pale skin and scrawny build, he's built up a fair deal of dexterity and strength in his youth. He has a sleek, yet regal nose with bright, golden eyes and intensely shadowed eyelashes. Sying has narrow lips and an often dour or serious expression.

    Spoiler:


    Background

    Personality: Sying is an obsessive person with a passion for control. He feels very vulnerable and worried when matters spin out of his grasp, or exceed the range of what he can influence. He's also quite sensitive, and will hold grudges for a long while after someone has crossed him, no matter what their incursion was. He feels most people would be better off if they just let him take the reins.

    For this reason, he's decided to join the Marines, the faction in the world which can exert the most amount of control over the world. He despises following orders, but is perfectly willing to do so if it means he can possess greater power down the road. Towards that end, he's always looking for means to amplify his rank, and is willing to do a lot to accomplish this feat.

    Hometown: Neige Town, Araska

    History: Sying was a very athletic child in school, often making friends and happy to give out advice to anybody that looked for it. He had underlying qualities of needing control, but was mostly able to keep it in check. His house was often called "haunted" by many of the island's residents because of his father's creepy profession making dolls, toys and puppets.

    As he grew older, and his growth stopped short, other children grew crueler, pushing Sying into isolation. Awakened to the cruelty of the world when others were allowed to run wild, Sying withdrew into his father's workshop, studying the craft, especially in the construction of puppets. His skill was revealed to be so prodigious, that he even attacked his bullies with these creations.

    His violent outbursts and off-putting obsession completely alienating him from others, Sying completely separated himself from most people, simply biding his time until he could leave and join the marines. Now that he's completed his training and begun his duty, Sying is anxious to bring his order to a wild world.

    Inventory and Abilities

    Combat: Mimic Fighter: Sying uses his puppets in battle, creating a physical proxy that he controls with strings. He can control these life-sized puppets as deftly as another might wield their own body.
    Weaponry:
    The Punk:
    The Punk is a puppet twenty-six inches tall with humanoid features. Its made of carefully painted wood and reinforced by iron underneath, giving it a weight of 25 lbs. In its back are ten pinholes through which string can be inserted. If ten strings are used to control it, then the puppet can be controlled with great precision. That level of control decreases with the number of strings used. Its hands can be opened and shut tight to wield weapons.
    Items: String Gauntlets: Cloth gloves with individual reels of iron wire attached to each digit. Each reel of iron wire can extend up to six meters. There's no natural way for an individual to use the wires in combat on their own. The items work in tandem with Sying's puppets. By inserting strings into the pinholes of his puppets, he can manipulate them freely.
    Beli: 50,000
    SD Earned: 0
    Stat Points: 38
    Advancement Points: 0
    SD Remaining: 0
    Stats:

    1. Used for Stats: 38
    2. Used for Fortune: 0


    • Strength: 10 (8+2)
    • Speed: 8
    • Stamina: 10 (8+2)
    • Accuracy: 10 (8+2)
    • Fortune: 9


    Traits: 0/3
    Bear Stamina (1 Trait) - For every 4 points put into stamina (up to a maximum of 150), the score increases by an additional 1.

    Keen Accuracy (1 Trait) - For every 4 points put into Accuracy (up to a maximum of 150), the score increases by an additional 1.

    Mighty Strength
    (1 Trait) - For every 4 points put into strength (up to a maximum of 150), the score increases by an additional 1.

    Profession Traits: 0/1
    Prop Performance (1 Trait) – An entertainer with this trait has learned how to integrate one of their performing props into their fighting style. They gain the ability to make martial techniques involving one item above rank 14. Additionally, they may perform freeform attacks with this item while performing at no additional expense of action economy.

    Devil Fruit wrote:Devil Fruit Name: N/A
    Devil Fruit Type:
    Devil Fruit Ability:


    Techniques

    Regular Technique Points: 18
    Used Regular Technique Points: 0
    Special Technique Points: 0
    Used Special Technique Points: 0

    Techniques:

    Development History

    Gains/Losses:
    Gains and losses:
    Edit Log:
    Spoiler:


    Last edited by CondorKing on Thu Nov 15, 2018 9:36 pm; edited 1 time in total
    Tenken
    Tenken


    Posts : 87
    Points : 123
    Join date : 2018-10-15
    Age : 33

    Sying "Sy" Yuo Empty Re: Sying "Sy" Yuo

    Post by Tenken Thu Nov 15, 2018 5:58 pm

    Howdy, let's go through it all!


    • You'll need to add another 2-3 sentences to appearance, mostly detailing the character a bit more in terms of the face. Pictures don't always load after all, so if it ever breaks or doesn't load on a medium then you'll need the description for the backup.

    • The Punk is a little too advanced a weapon for a starting character in my opinion, particularly the height and weight. Please reduce the height by at least half and the weight to at most a quarter for the moment - starting weapons are supposed to be very basic things after all.

    • The Iron Wires for your String Gauntlets are also far too long for starting, please reduce the length by at least 2/3.

    • For your stats, where they have been buffed please use the following format:
      Current Total (SP Used + Boost)
      So in the case for your Strength, Accuracy and Stamina they should all read:
      10 (8+2)
      This allows us to tell more easily at a glance where the numbers are meant to be prior to buffs.

    • You also start with 18 Regular Technique Points, double your Fortune.


    Once those changes have been made I'll take another look!
    CondorKing
    CondorKing


    Posts : 17
    Points : 25
    Join date : 2018-10-28

    Sying "Sy" Yuo Empty Re: Sying "Sy" Yuo

    Post by CondorKing Thu Nov 15, 2018 9:37 pm

    Bump for edits made.
    Tenken
    Tenken


    Posts : 87
    Points : 123
    Join date : 2018-10-15
    Age : 33

    Sying "Sy" Yuo Empty Re: Sying "Sy" Yuo

    Post by Tenken Sun Nov 18, 2018 3:46 pm

    I'm still iffy on the puppet personally, but I'll allow it and if someone else disagrees with me we can have a staff chat on it.

    1/2 Approved
    Dante
    Dante
    十一番隊

    十一番隊


    Posts : 176
    Points : 261
    Join date : 2018-08-31

    Sying "Sy" Yuo Empty Re: Sying "Sy" Yuo

    Post by Dante Sun Dec 02, 2018 11:53 pm

    2/2 don't let it go to your head

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    Sying "Sy" Yuo Empty Re: Sying "Sy" Yuo

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